| I don't know anymore. |
[Jul. 23rd, 2005|06:45 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nine Inch Nails-The Wretched | ] |
Early
yet soooo late,
I think I'm nocturnal.
The last couple of weeks have kind of all mashed together because of lack of sleep.And time awake alone is time to think.
Time to think about life and it's many problems...Drew,Petra,Mike,Meghan,and Me.............................................................................
And this time alone destroys me.
I read Drews journals in my time alone and I'm in there quite a bit.Most of it is about how Drew is worried about me.This Makes me feel like an asshole.I spent too much time not caring and throwing my pathetic existance away to realize that people are caring for me.But at the same time I just want to let everyone who is worried to know that I have a lot of shit going through my head right now and drugs just help me mellow out.It is just a phase.The only one who really understands this is mike.
And then there's Petra it feels like we spend so much time thinking that we hate eachother that I wonder whats the point of being friends if one of us is always mad.
Mike is the only person in my life right now that understands me right now,but I have been worried about him more than anyhing.he's fine when we're alone but when we go out places that all melts away.And his box scares me.
Fuck Life and everyone in it................................................... |
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